Seeking self

I see myself constantly judging other people. Comparing myself to them. Assessing my own beauty, intelligence, desirability, strength compared to others. I feel like I have always done this to a certain extent but being rejected seems to have amplified this insecurity in who I am. An insecurity in my value and worth. It's not so much thoughts that tell me I'm not worthy or lovable but rather just a background unease and perhaps even fear. It's hard to confront because it isn't negative thoughts that I can see and turn around or acknowledge as being untrue or unfounded. I think it's common to want to date people to boost your ego by being desired by the opposite sex and I do see myself having these urges. But I also know that what I truly need is to be secure in my own worth without a partner or without seeking reassurance from men. I feel like this is a wound that needs to be healed before examining the option of another relationship. Rushing into another relationship would likely just keep me from growing and changing and lose the opportunity that heartbreak brings. Seeking solace in another just further impedes my ability to self-comfort and inhibits learning about my true self and how to take care of that self.