Fear

I think fear drives much more human behavior than we choose to acknowledge. I know that for me, I often don't see the fear. I see some other emotion or drive, a desire for something or aversion to something. But upon closer examination it is often rooted in fear. Fear of pain, fear of loss, fear of a lost opportunity, fear of being seen or portrayed a certain way, or fear of the unknown future.

I think we all deal with our fear differently. Some people avoid it, avoid decisions, avoid looking into the future. Others like myself try to solidify things, collect information, and plan to alleviate the fear of the future. I guess maybe those are the differences between trying to control things or trying to avoid them. Both are driven by similar motives but approach it differently. I guess optimally you can just see the fear and make decisions and plans while maintaining some dettachment and space around outcomes and fruition. Taking action but once taken, allowing it the space to unfold as it will.

I guess it's the compromise and that idea of changing the things we can, accepting the things we can't and the wisdom to know the difference. One type of people tries to change everything and the other doesn't change anything. It's only in the balance that peace and freedom from fear is found.

I need to work on resting there. I tend to fluctuate between controlling and plannings, then seeing that impulse and throwing my hands up and pretending to not care. Can I just rest in allowing?