Odd moments

I always enjoy the odd moments when I have a realization. I actually have very strong memories from my childhood and having moments of realization as a child.

One distinct one is as a child being driven home on Christmas Eve from my Grandma's house and contemplating that this very moment would soon be a memory and would I remember exactly what I was thinking and feeling in this moment?

I just had a great realization while walking to the bathroom. My stomach is upset and I've been feeling bored and unstimulated at work today. I've been looking for distraction and seeing my feeling of let down after a nice birthday weekend. Things have been exciting for me over the last few days and today has felt a bit of a let down from that.

But then I realized that this is okay too. Sometimes things will be exciting and sometimes they'll be boring. Sometimes my body will be healthy and sometimes it will be ill. But you can't have one without the other and there is no need to rebel or oppose what is. See it as only one part of all that is. This dullness will pass and things will again be exciting. That too will pass and dullness will return.

I was seeing how I try to prolong stimulus or excitement. For example, with my birthday I've had lots of love and contact with people I enjoy, love and miss. As my birthday passes, that contact diminishes and I feel a sense of loss or missing it. I email people and try to continue a flow of contact and love from these people but it is hard to maintain, as people are busy and I am living a long way away.

It truth though, if I maintained that level of contact, I would likely get accustomed to it and then need more and more to be stimulated. I would get desensitized to it to a degree. This often happens in relationships when we spend too much time with someone and then get sick of them or take them for granted. They lose they're shiny newness. So it's important for things to wax and wane leading to times of contact and times of distance. This maintains appreciation and prevents burnout.

No one would want to party and celebrate all the time. You would get sick of it and burnt out. That's what makes special events special. They only happen occasionally, so you appreciate them. So it's learning to allow the flow and appreciate it for what it is. See the feelings of coming down from stimulation and appreciate those feelings too. Appreciate it all for being perfect and being just what it is.