Love and Pain

I was reading some Pema about all the dualistic aspects of life. Love and pain are one that I've been dealing with a lot. Two sides of the same coin, closely intertwined, in that you can't have one without the other. Love will always result in loss at some point and that will bring pain.

I think growing up with my mom, I closely connect love and pain. Probably to a fault. Loving my mom has long been painful, and I feel like maybe I've subconsciously believed that that is how love should be. Without pain, love isn't real. How sadistic is that? But it does make sense with the ways that I sabotage relationships.

I think while I may have an unhealthy connection between love and pain, most people want one without the other. They see the pain as detrimental and "bad" when in fact Pema talks about seeing bigger. Seeing love and pain as part of one, they come together and neither is good nor bad. Both are intertwined in that they only come as a pair and can not be separated.

I feel that gives a healthier perspective on relationships. There are some amazing aspects and some painful aspects. Finding a happy medium and embracing both ends of the spectrum is the only way to sustain and truly embrace it.

On that note, I hope to work with my self-love as a seed by which to allow love and pain to coexist and appreciate both sides of the coin. Knowing that it's all part of the magic and you can't have one with the other and what's a life without love.