Repeat

Sometimes I feel like my mind is stuck on repeat. It tells me the same stories over and over again. I've read that this is the minds way of integrating painful things. The reason we relive some memories repeatedly is to allow them to integrate and sink in. It's how we learn to accept them, so to speak.

I find it challenging and frustrating to have my mind be so relentless at times. Especially when it gives me some relief briefly and then returns as strong, if not stronger than before. I've been working with the idea of snuggling and embracing my mind and it's crazy rantings. Trying to love it and have compassion for its struggles.

Moving the body does seem to counteract this mind struggle some. Yoga and running both allow some space and relief from a challenging mind. Somehow the physical exertion allows the mind to rest and let go of the perpetual stories it tells.

I guess there needs to be a compromise of taking time to sit still and watch the mind, lovingly embrace it's wandering adventures and then time of physical exertion and relief from mind rantings.

It is helpful to see things changing, albeit slowly. Finding those same issues or feelings arise but seeing them for what they are, allowing and accepting them and not chasing them down the path they lead. Ever so slowly, seeing and acknowledging the change in self and the value in practice.