Delving deeper

I'm considering engaging in some kind of intensive retreat, with the idea that this type of thing could be a springboard to a deeper, more committed practice. It's a daunting thought, as some places require a year long committment. But perhaps that would be helpful for me. I see that fear is the hinderance here. I fear missing out on life by choosing to devote a year to meditation and practice. I fear loosing things, friendships, relationships, etc. My mind tells me to consider shorter term situations. Which realistically may be more feasible anyway. It is interesting to watch my mind consider this situation. The fear of committment that comes up in it. What happens is I want to change my mind? What if it's absolutely horrible? What if I miss something important in my life that would have or should have happened? It seems to revolve around missing out on something better. As I write this I'm having an interesting realization, as one who rarely fears committment, I am now getting a taste of where that fear arises from. It seems to be a common fear for people. It seems extremeley difficult for me to disseminate the fear and emotion my ego/mind bring up and the desire or drive that causes my heart to want this. Interesting how fear can mask other things.