Finding space

Just even a tiny step back from your experience can give you much needed space to see your reactions, your emotions, how caught up you are. We all have those things in life that have a special hold on us. Those things that have the power to shake us to the core without so much as a flick. I find myself practicing more and more with giving this space. Seeing that we tend to close down around things when truly we have all the space in the world. Nothing is black or white no matter how hard we try to paint it that way. I think I tend to think in black and white and a gray world is difficult for me. But when I give the gray a little space to breath and flow, I find that it has all the space in the world. Nothing is so hard, so fixed, so important as it seems.

I am trying to live my life with more ease. Let things come and go easier. Allowing more, controlling less. Desired outcomes only lead to disappointment. We all know that it never goes as planned, but that's what makes life interesting. Allowing room for the change and flow of life, allows us to breath and experience the lightness of freedom.

This year has felt like one big, long uncertainty to me. The funny thing is that life is always uncertain, I'm just experiencing a reality closer to the truth than I have in the past. My future has always been uncertain, I only imagined it to have any solidity. But as I move into the next few months, there are big decisions to be made, directions to choose, and life changes ahead. I find myself excited and scared. Petrified at times, hopeful and hopeless, and giddy with possibilities. I'm working to embrace the ride and get in touch with the self that knows which direction I truly want and need to take.

I tend to be good at seeing all sides of a story rather well....but this often leads to indecisiveness or difficulty choosing the "right" option. Maybe I can let go of the idea of right option and choose what feels good and know that it will be just as it should be.