The little me

Buddhism likes to talk about the ego, the self, the little I. Not an easy concept, and definitely something I have struggled to understand. Recently I've been able to see this self as a filter. This Cody I so very dearly identify with is no more solid than the air she breathes. We like to pretend we're solid because it provides a small sense of security and power. The ironic part is that it actually weakens us and causes a great deal of fear and sense of needing to protect this solid entity. When, in fact, if we could jut let the self dissolve a little, we find that true empowerment comes from abandoning this self. Realizing that there is no self to protect. No self to build up and cling to
like a security blanket. This self only alienates me from those around me and causes me to see the world as dangerous and scary. Letting the self slip away, even just an inch, allows for a little more transparency and light to shine on the truth of reality.

My self, my Cody, is a wonderful help to me and allows me to interact in the world. However, she is only a construct of memories, experiences, emotions and senses. She does not need protection and can give up her need to control or filter the world through her layers and layers of protection and fear.

This concept is so difficult for most of us to grasp. Yet it's as simple as seeing how things, people, and events change in relation to this self. Are things all truly changing or could it be that the filter is slipping a little?

Being aware of this self is the first step toward seeing through it. I'm happy to say that my self appears to be suffering some little cracks and dents. More and more layers of self appear as they are discovered by awareness. Inch by inch, little by little, the self loses its strength.