People

I ran into a friend today who is similar to me in that she seems uncomfortable around people and while we get along, I obviously do not put her at ease. While doing yoga at the gym I thought about this and thought about the comment I have made in the past about not liking people. It's interesting because like so many things, it really is not about people at all, but about my perception of them and the stories I tell myself. People scare me. I'm afraid of rejection and not being loved. Ever person I interact with is an opportunity for rejection....or at least that is the internal story behind my dislike of them. If something represents a threat to you, it's highly unlikely that you will like that thing. However, many people see people as friends they haven't met yet, opportunities to make a friend, get a date, or have a pleasant interaction. That's it. That's the difference, it's all about the internal dialogue and association you make with something. People are scary or people are opportunity. This goes for all things that I dislike. I dislike them for the way they make me feel, yet nothing can make me feel a way without my consent and usually due to my thoughts, feelings, actions.

So, it's all about undoing the conditioning that has gotten me to this point. We all have aversions and that aversion is only founded in the stories we tell ourselves about it, whether it's people, heights, relationships, mushrooms, etc. It's all about seeing these aversions clearly and for what they are and working to undo the conditioning that put them in place. If we don't. If we avoid that which we are averse to, the aversion only grows. I have found this too. The more I interact with unfamiliar people, the more comfortable I get with the unfamiliarity and even come to enjoy the experience of connecting with someone new. I think this could expand to unfamiliar groups, which tends to be more difficult.

A similar thing yet on the other end of the spectrum, is that I realized while on the treadmill at the gym that my old aversion of house music has changed since I've been using it as motivation when running. Something that used to make me feel anxious now gives me energy. It's all about our perception. And perceptions can change just with the insight that they exist.