Fear

Fear is such a big motivator in all of our lives. Whether we see it and acknowledge it or not. I have been battling with my fear of physical injury lately. Coming off having dislocated my ankle, I am extremely gun shy with anything that could potentially result in pain. It's obviously the freshness of my pain and injury and my body not wanting to endure that again. Although, it truth shouldn't I feel assured by the fact that I did endure the pain and could, if need be, again and again?

The same goes for other aspects of life. Fear of death, loss of love or loved ones, relationships, the list seems endless. What truly is there to fear in any of that? Yes, there may be pain but pain is not the end, it is growth and change and it is truly amazing how much we as humans can and will endure unscathed.

It does help to realize that whatever happens, it is just what is meant to happen and any resulting pain will pass like all things. It will likely cause growth and change and lead in a new direction than before. Why is that something to fear? Not always comfortable but nearly always survivable and if not, you won't be around to worry about it.

So the fear of change, suffering, etc. I can't see a use for. My new plan is to face fear, any fear, with acceptance of whatever shall come, knowing and trusting that all is as it should be. I have even come to snuggle that ache that arises. That pain that underlies many aspects of our lives, and that fear of new, scary, or undesired things. My ache and fear often revolve around love and not getting enough from whom I want to. But once I accept this ache and fear and find compassion for myself, it's as though my own love can comfort the ache. The ache doesn't leave it just gets comfortable and stops causing such a ruckus. It settles in for the long haul.

I think in the past I have strongly pushed away my pain, not wanting to experience it. This only leads the pain to feel neglected and occasionally, burst to the surface for some attention. Rather than kindly acknowledging the ache and keeping it content, neglected pain seems to strengthen and return again and again. I'm learning to snuggle my ache and it's learning to snuggle back.

Fear of physical danger on the other hand seems to have a certain intelligence to it. We fear pain and bodily harm for good reason and a sensible dose of fear would keep us from stupidly or unnecessarily putting ourselves in harms way......so to motorbike or not? That is the question.