We all have those moments of feeling whole, happy, and at ease. The moments when you can't find anything more to strive for and can truly settle into the moment, even if only briefly. The interesting part for me of those moments is how very fleeting they are. It's almost as if the moment my mind acknowledges the sense of ease and peace, it also begins seeking for things that could be improved and that which is missing. In that moment, the sense of ease is lost and returned to the inevitable seeking.
Why oh why oh why, must there always be something more for which to strive? Why when the mind discovers it is at ease, that it desperately stirs to find a desire or aversion? Can the sense of ease continue as the desire or aversion arises?
I currently find myself seeing my mind chasing something to be unsettled about and seeing the desire arise. Then I acknowledge it as only a desire and yet the moment of peace and ease is still altered. It almost seems as if just by acknowledging the ease, I diminish it. Perhaps that is because this sense of ease is more related to my external circumstances than it is to my inner sense of being. I am at ease because for a brief moment the external situation lines up perfectly and my mind can not grasp anything to desire or detest.
Rather than ease that stems from acceptance of what is (good, bad and indifferent), it is an ease arisen from circumstance. Circumstance that will inevitably change and wash away whatever peace had arisen.
So the answer is in cultivating peace and acceptance when outer circumstances are not ideal. Cultivating these moments of ease and peace in middle of a maelstrom of outer conflict and upheaval. For then this peace is not so fleeting and not reliant upon what is but rather an eye within the storm.
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